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Time: Friend or foe
DATE: Feb 21 2008, 12:04 pm / MOOD: Full of life

Mistakes, torture, and confusion. All I do is do this to myself. Thats why I'm writing this post I can end the pain and no one else. Ya know this was supposed to be a poem but I don't know what it is anymore. My soul is tainted and it aches my heart, my heart is pained and it clouds my mind, my clouded mind leads me to make mistakes that do nothing but taint my soul further... A cycle that I have new clue how it started. What else is there to say? Dare I bare my soul again? Tell you my secrets? my dreams? my lies and miss deeds? I want to tell you about how I took the chance and poured my soul out to one person and it counted for nothing. That person cast me aside too full of their own self inflicted shit and pain. But I won't. Because it is a story those of you who needed to know already do. This post is about moving on not the past. I have regrets no 20 year old young man should have. Regrets that form a snake that wraps tightly around my heart and everytime I think of....Things it bites and fills me with a bitter poison that seeps into every crease of my mind. The poison hasn't knilled me yet which means one of two things. Either this death will be one conditioned on time or the firey liquid ice flowing through me is an ode to the amazingly strong person I am and am soon to become due to this trial. Time is my biggest enemy espescially in the form of the past.

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Everyone told me so....
DATE: Dec 28 2007, 9:12 am / MOOD: Disapointed

Hey If there is anything I can say is my friends did tell me so. They all told me she was a liar and a bird and I was too good for her. My friends told me, her friends told me, my family told me, and her family told me.... Yet I stayed and was dumb enough to take on the responsablity of taking care of her son as if he were my own... By the way her ecxuse for doing everything she did was "I never asked you to love us" WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? anyone else alittle confused well anyway I don't completely regret what happened because I belive everyone should at least once in their life time be loved as much as I loved her. I'm just waiting for my turn.

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