DATE: Mar 20 2008, 9:50 pm / MOOD: Happy

Hi Rebounders!

I just wanted to keep you guys posted on what we are doing with this site currently.

As some of you guys may already know, we have been trying to make some major changes to the site. We plan on changing our domain's name to LoveDetour.com. We are also adding a new section for the Experts to post their articles. These Experts will have their own personal profiles as well. In the near future we'd like to start the local groups where mainly for activities and socializing. Each group will also have their own Experts in the group who can attend those group activities and answering your questions. We are very excited about the changes. Please check back with us more often! By the way, since the new domain change, we'll also cover more areas other then just rebound dating. We'll cover topics like, dating, love, divorce, marriage, sex, and all the relationship stuff you want to know about. From now on. I will post some polls for you guys to take and see what's the best for all the members here. If you have any suggestions about the site, please feel free to send me a message!

Regards,

Sunny 

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DATE: Mar 20 2008, 9:37 pm / MOOD: Full of life

A few days ago I was talking to a friend who had been feeling down lately because of his work stress. He told me he was feeling great that day and a few weeks ago since he met up with one of his friends for lunch. Long story short, his friend has been working with a life coach who she pays $1,500 a month for only 4 hours of meeting each month. I thought she was crazy until my friend told me that she said the life coach had changed her life. So anyhow, his friend told him that you should start feeling good about yourself and each everyday in your life. You will attract negative energy if you feel sad or stressed out, You will also attract positive energy if you feel great about yourself and everything else! She told him to try it every morning when he wakes up he should tell himself that IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! He tried one morning and some strange results happened to him. He wished for a great parking spot and he got it! He also told himself that he would close a couple deals that day and he accomplished that also! Since that day he has been consistently being happy every single day!! So I thought that was amazing. It kind of reminded me what I believe that positive attitude attracts positive energy! I wanted to give it a try as well! Yesterday was my first day trying it and here's what happened through out the day!

In the morning, just like what he said I told myself it was going to be a great day no matter what happens! I wanted to some how meet a girl and I had no idea how? I wished to have a great day at work! First thing first, as soon as I got into the office, I told my friend that it was going to be a great day! immediately the energy level already started high for the day! I had a meeting with a high profile client and the meeting went very well. there was definitely a high chance that I may get the deal. She also introduced me to a few of her close friends who are also very wealthy as well. After the meeting I decided to meet up with some friends at a coffee shop. Since I was in a good mood and with a positive attitude. I felt like I definitely brought our energy level much higher and we had a great time talking at the coffee shop. I also got a phone call from a girl who I hadn't talked to for a while and were supposed to meet us for a date! She said she was moving to the Bayarea this weekend and wanted to meet up some time! Through out the day I also talked to 3 people who had a very bad day due to some personal issues. I was able to make them feel much better after talking to me! I thought that was not a bad day at all! Don't you guys think?

Today was my second trying this method. I was very excited about what was going to happen today. So again, in the morning I told myself that it was going to be a fantastic day! My energy level was high and my attitude was awesome! I even told eveyone I saw that I was going to make their day as well! I did it again! I asked for closing a deal, I got it in the mail! I wanted to do well at work in other areas, I did it! I learned how to shoot a gun which was something I had always wanted to do! I went to lunch with some coworkers, I believe I even made their days by making them laugh! I also told a couple strangers on the street to have a great day!! haha! Even though I'm feeling pretty tired from none-stop shooting for 3 hours I still feel like I had a great day! I know it may sound kind of corny to you. you might think how can it be possible that there's not one thing that bothers you through out the day? well, the truth is there have been things that would have bugged the heck out of me, but I chose to be HAPPY!

Happiness is really by choice. In fact, it's fully under one's control! Start being positive then happiness will find you. I talked about being excited about who you are going to meet next after your painful breakup in my early blog. Now, I suggest you to do that every day! Be excited about what's going to happen to you today! You might meet the one! You might find your dream job! you might get a raise at work! look forward to each every day in your life! Also spread out your positive energy to others around you! Trust me, if you do for others, you will get a great positive energy back from them as well and that will add to your current energy level which will make yours even stronger! who wouldn't want to be around you if you can bring happiness to everyone near you?! I don't think finding your soul mate will be such a big deal! again, he/she will come find you and attracted to you by your POSITIVE ENERGY!

Try it tomorrow and let me know how it goes! I want to hear from you!

 

Sunny

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DATE: Feb 14 2008, 12:00 pm / MOOD: Dont know

It's that time of the year again. People who are madly in love are buying all kinds of things today to make each other happy. I remember those past Valentines days I had gone through. There were happiness and there were sadness. People say it's been commercialized, it's a day only for women, it's a romantic day, or it's a just another day after all. For me, I think it's all the above. It is commercialized because people are definitely making tons money on today's sales. I have a buddy. A week before today he was so stressed out about where to take his girl friend for dinner today. Every place was already booked weeks ago. Especially in LA. Restaurants were asking for deposits for reservations! A dinner for 2 usually costs $100 the most. Today, it will cost you $200 per person at that place he was looking at. He calculated the amount of money he will end up spending on this day. He came out with close to $1,000! He has to fly down to LA from NorCal, hotels, gifts, flowers, drinks, entertainment, and food! Man, I feel so lucky being single today! I'm sure some of you guys feel the same way. Oh, by the way, I was listening to the radio this morning, they were talking about some magazine wrote that there's 64% of men between the age of 18-25 would like to receive flowers on Valentines day! I think I know where this is going now...would you want flowers on V-day if you were a guy? I'd like to hear some comments on this one.

Now, a day for women. I'm saying this not to offend anyone, but most guys I know don't enjoy this day as much as their girl friends or wifes. Like I mentioned earlier, it does cost a lot of money to make someone happy today. I know there are girls will tell you that you don't have to spend that much money to make her happy but do something sweet and nice. There are always exceptions to the rules. I'm sure there are girls that are easy to be satisfied. However, deep down I know most girls would like to be treated like a princess today. And that costs money. According to a study, girls spend 20% for V-day. Of course, guys will have to make up the difference. I'm a big believer of doing something sweet and simple to please your woman. If the girl likes my style, she maybe the one. Again, I know there are girls like that out there. And I also believe that today should be special! that leads to my next theory.

It's a romantic day! Today is something you should have been looking forward to all year if you are in the relationship! It's like Christmas and New Year! We look forward to those days to spend time with your loved ones. They are special days. Imagine we didn't have any holidays in the year, what would that be like? I think it will probably be pretty boring. We have nothing to look forward to. Why do we work and make all those money then? As a loving couple, this is your day, your New Year! You get to celebrate being together. Don't forget how you were met before. Don't forget why you are together. Don't forget that you love that person your with. You have to do something special to make it feel different then just another day! You just have to watch your spending today. That's all.

And if you are single like me, it may feels like it's just another day. There's nothing wrong with that either. It's a special day for couples. If you haven't found anyone special, you don't have to feel sad about it. It just means you haven't found someone special. It doesn't mean you will never find anyone special. If you feel absolutely horrible, remember what I said in my other blog "How did I get over my Break up"? Define your purpose in life! Today is just short term, we still have tomorrow and next year to live. we have to look at long term. If you have a purpose and goals, you won't have a hard time getting through today because tomorrow looks much more promising!!

 

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY anyway everyone!

Sunny

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DATE: Jan 13 2008, 12:03 pm / MOOD: Full of life

This blog is dedicated to all the nice guys and girls out there who think they will never find their soulmates because they think they are too nice.

I had a conversation with one of my friends last night. She's going through some tough times with her relationship. Long story short, her boy friend cheated on her before and who knows how many times. He treats her bad and he's 25 but very immature. He has 2 DUI's and no stable job. Her, on the other side, a 27 year old elementary school teacher, sells jewelries on the side, also bar-tending as well. So many of her friends have told her he's not good for her and she deserves better, but she doesn't have the courage to break up with him. She feels she still cares for him. I'm sure this may sound like yourself at some point in life. You keep hearing your friends telling you the famous saying over and over again,"nice guys/girls finish last!" This belief has turned so many nice guys and girls into jerks. Therefore, I'm here to tell you guys that it's not completely true!

What people don't realize or refuse to realize is it might be a good thing that your relationship with that person is not going to or didn't workout. For instance, before making the decision for a purchase, how much do we shop around for a better deal? Many times. And a lot of times we end up pretty satisfied with our decision. Even though there are times we are not happy with our purchases, we often tell ourselves at least we know what to do next time. So by shopping around we filter out the ones we don't want. Basically, my point is relationships are like shopping or anything else, we are searching for the best deal either consciously or unconsciously. Look around and see how many people around you have found their soulmates either sooner or later? Most people do find their soulmates in life, and I'm sure it took them a long time to find that person and at some point their life they felt the same way as you and I did. So finding someone just matters of time. I have to say this again, everything happens for a reason. If you believe you are broken hearted by someone didn't treat you right and you will never find the one, think again, maybe there's someone up there that's looking out for you.

Believe in yourself! one day you will find that person. Don't become someone you are not. You know you are a nice person deep down. Who you are is going to attract who you want to be with. You might finish last, but you will finish strong! Don't ever settle for less because your soulmates are searching for you hard...

Sunny

ReboundersWorld-it's time to bounce back!

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DATE: Jan 07 2008, 12:10 am / MOOD: Full of life

I have just finished watching the movie "Click". I think a lot of people thought this was a stupidly funny movie like I did. Surprisingly, it's not a bad movie at all, and it's not a just a funny movie after all. It certainly teaches you something very important in life-Life is not just about work.

There are so many things in life that are more important than work alone, like spending time with people you love in your life, such as spouse, kids, parents, and even friends. Once time is passed, there's no going back. Remember the times your are bombarded with deadlines and postponed your family vacations? That time is gone. You can never go back to that time and make it up for your family. Imagine if a tragic event happened after that that you lost your spouse or kids. Wouldn't you be regretted about what you have done? So don't wait until you have a break from work and then plan for that vacation you and your loved ones always wanted go on! stop postponing it! Do it now! Don't live your life with any regrets!

 

I'd highly recommend this movie to people who have or had issues between work and family. If you haven't signed that divorce paper yet, watch the movie because it might wake you up from a really bad dream...

Sunny 

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DATE: Nov 27 2007, 10:31 pm / MOOD: Full of life

I really want to share this with everyone here.

Lately have been very busy with my day job and 2 websites I'm working on. Even thought I feel like I'm completely over my ex because I'm just too excited about my future and accomplishing my dreams and purpose in life. Of course, I have also been dating quite a few girls on the side. If you have read my first blog about How I Got Over my ex, you would remember one of the things I mentioned was to keep yourself busy and try to accomplish as much as you can while your still single. However, I feel likeI haven't been that productive with lif in general because I have been working too much! I take too much time working!

So, I finally have figured out the reason we have weekends! It's not only for us to recharge up our energy but also away for us to work more effectively! What I mean by that is when you feel like you have too much time to work you will not accomplish as much as your supposed to because all you do i working! But if you make plans say for the weekend not only you have something to look forward to but also you will hurry your ass up to finish all your work prior to the weekend. That makes working more effective.

When I was with my ex, we always talked about staring a wine club or wine tasting party once in a while. Of course, we never came through with the idea. Just a few Fridays ago, a few of us had a great dinner and decided we ought to chill for the night since we all have found that partying on Fridays have become a duty instead of having a god tme. Therefor, we agreed to go to the Vintage Wine bar on Santana Row in in San Jose. We started with three people and a bottle of wine, but since we were having such a blast we started inviting our friends one by one. At the end of night we had about 8 or 9 people showed up one after another and 5 bottles wine! we had a great time! Since then I finally decided that we should start a monthly wine clu/party. we even made a website for it and that's how serious we can be! since we spreaded out the words to our friends, we have been gettting a very good response that we have friends in So-Cal and Florida, New York that want to join us that start this ToastyFridays thing in their areas! I'm so excited about this thing I can totally see this thing getting expaned through the country! so if any of you guys are interested check out our website and start your own ToastyFridays in your area! Don't worry, we don't charge franchise feesfor this. It's just for fun and a great way to meet quality people maybe even your true loe in the future! It will definitely help you to forget your ex that's for sure!!

ok, here's the website, www.toastyfridays.com

Let me know what you guys think!

Sunny

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DATE: Oct 14 2007, 11:52 pm / MOOD: Full of life

Call me anything you want, but not too long ago I had discovered that I'm very into chic-flick movies! I guess I''m just a very sensitive guy.

I just finished watching this movie called "Before Sunset" by Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy. It's about a Novelist and an environmentalist who met on a train nine years ago earlier reunited in Paris. I loved it!

Anyway, I just wanted to write about some of the thoughts on my mind right now.

For a while, I have stopped believing in romantic love. I think in today's world, people have become so realistic about everything that we forgot about what love is really about! This movie has reminded me that love is not just about getting married and having kids together so eventually you can spend the rest your life together. If you are not connected with the person you married to, even though your right by him/her every day and night you'd still feel like you are million away from that person.

So Love is about romance and faith! I think we all have our romantic side of us but sometimes it's hard to come out of us when we are with the wrong person! Many times we tend to settle with the first person we meet just to have someone in our life at the moment. just so we don't feel lonely and be afraid of spending the rest our lives alone. By settling, we're missing out on all the other possible opportunities in life. sometimes when we realize it it's too late to get out of the relationship that we were not supposed to be in in the first place. Maybe that's why our divorce ratio is very high these days.

I was very excited again when I was watching the movie because for a strange reason I reminded myself about what I believed in--there's someone for everyone and be excited and ready for The One you are going to meet! It maybe tomorrow or next year! But remember not to settle for less! S/he is out there somewhere. You just have to be patient and make sure you grab the opportunity when it's right in front of you!

 

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DATE: Sep 07 2007, 1:05 am / MOOD: Happy

Getting through a break up or divorce is never easy. Especially if you guys have been with each other for longer than a year or more. I was with my ex for 14 months and we moved in together for 1 month or 2 then we finally realized that we were not meant to be. Therefore, we broke up about 2 months ago.

She was a very nice girl, very pretty too. A lot of guys like her. I'm sure she won't have a hard time finding another guy to date. Considering all the qualities she has, I thought the breakup would probably destroy me. Especially thinking about how difficult I went though my last break up, it was not the best thing to experience in life. However, I'm really surprised how I reacted to this break up and dealing with it at the same time. I started wondering why I'm acting this way. I think I was able to come up with something that I'd like to share this with everyone here.

1. I have gotten priorities and Purpose!

Financial adviser is my full time job. What I always tell my clients is financial planning is about prioritizing the most important things in life because often times we're not able to accomplish all the financial goals or needs at the same time. So selecting the ones that are the most important to you and your family and take care of them right away is the key, such as setting up your defense planning like Life Insurance and so on. Now, I can relate this to dealing relationships issues as well. I'm sure you have all heard that a man before thirty shouldn't get married because he doesn't know what he really wants out of a woman. Same rule applies to a woman. I truly believe it! Every time I met a girl I felt like she was the one, but 2 months into the relationship I completely changed my thoughts about her. Being said, I'm a big believer of dating as many people as possible before you turn thirty. That way you can filter out the types of guys or girls you don't want to be with. So the day you turn thirty, if you are still not sure about what you are looking for, at least you have a better idea about what you don't want. And trust me, this way is much better than if you find out after you married to that person that there's no way you can live with him/her for the rest of your life.

Since now we know we can't really settle down before thirty, we have to find something else more important to do, right? Well, how about focusing on your career? And think about the kind of people you will be dating when you become more successful. It will be different. Nothing is more important than your career or chasing after your goals in life especially before thirty! And this is my priority. To be honest with you, I just figured out what my purpose is in life. Since I have determined my purpose, everything I have been doing is around that purpose. AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! If you explain your purpose to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and they seem to have no idea what the heck you are talking about, it's time to move on. If she/he left you, than there's nothing you should feel bad about. It's simply because they are on a different road than you are, which yours is the road to success. So let's take care of your career first and then everything else will come after that.

2. Don't be sad, be Excited!

How many times have you broken up with someone? Probably a few times or many times for some people. And how many times have you found someone new thereafter? It doesn't matter how long it will take you to find the that person because everyone has many soul mates in this world and eventually we all will find the one. Oh, how many times have you said to yourself or told someone, "if it weren't for my last breakup, I wouldn't have found the person I'm with now!" Everything happens for a reason! Even your breakup! Maybe it was just because there's someone better that's waiting for you! Think about who you are going to meet next! What does that person look like? How tall is that person? and how you guys will meet? You can even try to visualize the perfect match for yourself! So be excited about who you are going to meet next! Maybe she/he is the one for you! This is how you can live in the future instead of the past!

3. Learn from it!

Relationship is like a job. After you got fired from your job, what do you usually do? you try to figure out why you were fired. If you are honest to yourself, you would know the exact reason for it. and it doesn't matter if it was your fault or not. You learn from your mistakes! That's how you grow! You can even learn from other people's mistakes too, which is even better because you don't have to go through the consequences of the mistakes. you will take a little bit of something you learned into your next relationship. By the time you are thirty or older, you will be a much better match to your soul mate! Remember, don't complain and blame others, it's always your fault because you made that choice, so learn from it!

4. Don't Ever Settle!

This happens when you are on the rebound. You feel so sad and mad that you feel like you absolutely have to find someone to replace your ex. I have seen that too many times among in my friends. people tend to settle for less when they are on the rebound. It's not a bad idea to date someone, but it's a horrible idea to get involved with someone who you don't think you will love. Take your time to date around and see what's out there. You will always be surprised who you are going to meet next. And remember, there's always somebody for you!

5. Keep yourself Busy!

I understand that you would feel lonely sometimes. You were with that special someone for a long time. You guys did everything together. And all of the sudden you are alone. all by yourself and doing everything by yourself. This is when you really want to pick up the phone and dial that familiar number that you already memorized in your head or on speed dial on your cell phone. Don't even think about it! You have to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends. Pursue your dreams. Get out of the house. Stop watching chic-flicks! Get online and chat with people. There are so many things you can do to keep yourself occupied. When you are busy at work, you tend to think about your ex a lot less. Stay focused!

6. Go out with the right mind-set

This is especially for guys in the Bay Area where ratio is not in your favor! How many times have you been rejected at the bars by girls? How do you feel getting rejected again after your breakup? What do you want to do when you get home from the bars? you call that familiar number again because you feel like you will never find someone like your ex. you want that person back so you don't have to work for it. I'm not completely against going out to the bars. In fact, I go out pretty much every weekend. I'm just suggesting that you go out to have a good time, period. If something happens, great! If not, don't worry about it just enjoy being out.

7. Join any and many social network or dating sites!

Now days dating and social networking have never been easier. there are millions of sites out there help you meeting new people. A lot of them are free to you like myspace.com, facebook.com, and even Reboundersworld.com. Even you have to pay $20 or $30 a month it's still worth it. Just think about how much your bar tabs are every month and you would be able to do the math yourself. many people still consider online dating is for losers. I say to them, "Welcome to 21st century!" People are so busy these days, we don't have the time to go out every night to look for dates. Also, think about the kind of people you are meeting at the bars if you are looking for something serious. At lest you know people are already interested meeting someone if they put their profiles online and saying I'm looking for someone to DATE! How obvious can it get?! It's like you have an ad in the newspaper to advertise your product. People will contact you if they are interested buying without having to go door-to-door.

8. Rebound Dating!

Traditionally, people think rebound dating is such a negative thing. Why would anyone do such bad thing to hurt another person? Typically, when rebound dating turns bad is because one rebounder is dating someone that's not on the rebound. Most times the two people are probably looking for different things at the moment. In the other words, they have different expectations out of each other. However, the benefit of rebound dating is to help you move on from your previous relationship, which is huge for someone just experienced a painful breakup. So how can we have a healthy rebound relationship? The key thing is to be honest with each other and talk about the possibility of not staying together in the near future. Make sure both of you are ok and aware of the possible outcome of this relationship. The best thing to do is if you can find someone that's also on the rebound. That way you guys are on the same page when it comes to rebound dating or just simply hanging out helping each other move on and talk it out. Reboundersworld.com offers this kind of environment for you to find people like yourself to socialize with.

9. Find Someone who shares common interests as you do

It's so ironic that both of my busniess partner and I have recently experienced a breakup while we were working on Reboundersworld.com. But because of the breakup, we have more time to work on the site and more importantly we really got to know each other on a deeper level(after 3 years of partying together). We finally realized that we have the same beliefs, views, and even purpose in life. I expect this is one of the main reasons that I have moved on quickly from my ex. Some days we found ourselves talking all day and all night without running out topics to discuss. We have talked about many different ideas about how to reach our goals from here. Remember, everything happens for a reason! This actually leads to my next argument.

10. The good things about your breakup!

This is another key point I want to emphasize. You have to have a positive attitude towards to everything not only for relationship issues but also for everything else in life. we run into so many problems in our everyday life. we get so stressed out about every little thing. sometimes we develop depressions, anxieties and so on. A bad breakup can definitely do some damages to your mind and reduce your confidence. Do not let that get to you! You have to be strong! You must convince yourself that every bad thing that has happened to you always leads or has led to something good. For example, if I was still with my ex right now, I wouldn't have had chance to get to know my friend and becoming best friend with him. I probably wouldn't have had a lot of time to focus on my career either. I'm excited to see more good things that's going to happen that are the results of this breakup! It's a problem only if you think it is!

11. Do not keep calling your ex all the time!

Leave him/her alone! It's over! What is that you don't understand? If you think by bugging the person will get him/her back, you are completely wrong! It will just make it worse to even stay friends with that person. You need a brake from each other. It will help you forget the person quickly especially if you keep yourself busy. If you are not planning to stay friends with your ex, erase his/her number and email and all their text messages or voice mails. Put away all their belongings and pictures.

12. All those bad things about him/her!

If you want to get over your ex quicker, don't think about all the good things s/he had done for you. I know it's very hard to do especially if your ex was really nice to you. However, no body is perfect. If you think hard, you will be able to think something that s/he did really bothered you, whether was his/her stinky breath or the noises s/he made when chewing the gum. I promise you, the more you think about it, the more you will appreciate to be out of that relationship.

Ok rebounders, I think this is plenty to start with. Try these out and let me know how they work. I always welcome new ideas, so if you've gotten one please add it to the list and share with the rest of us. Let's all help each other bounce back!

Sunny

 

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