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Title: Continuation
Category: other
Blog Entry: In the Matter ofTracy Aydelott and ****** *********Section A(1) I, Tracy Aydelott, party of the second part (hereafter to be referred to as “respondent”), being of sound mind and having been made aware, by information and discovery, of the eccentricity, spookiness, and otherwise general quirkiness of ****** *********, party of the first part (hereafter to be referred to as “petitioner”), do hereby waive all claims to, and absolve petitioner of any responsibility for, any reimbursement, recompense, remedy or relief as compensation for wrongs, perceived or actual, against respondent within the context of any relationship (with petitioner) of any nomenclature, in any capacity, and to any degree of magnitude with regard to any and all monetary, intellectual, emotional and/or physical investment made by respondent into said relationship, so long as said wrongs do not fall within the scope of stipulations set forth in section B paragraph 1.(2) Further, petitioner shall be held blameless in the event that respondent’s conscious actions and/or behavior should, by reasonable and customary definition, provoke, incite, initiate, or otherwise cause to occur conditions set forth in section B paragraph 1, so long as such actions and/or behavior is not a direct or indirect result of fatigue, inebriation, or honest and innocent forgetfulness on the part of respondent.Section BRespondent statements pursuant to section A shall be rendered null, void, and unenforceable if:(a) Petitioner intentionally strikes respondent in anger with any part of petitioner’s body or any object, animate or inanimate, if said blow is rendered with the intent to cause bodily harm, humiliation, or any other adverse effect.(b) Petitioner, at any time, under any circumstances, is mean and/or hateful to respondent, irrespective of whether respondent, through fatigue, inebriation, or honest and innocent forgetfulness appears to deserve such abuse.Signed this Sixteenth of August, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and fourWitness: Marty Bowman Tracy Aydelott Oops. Didn't know how the blog works on this site. I thought the next submission would just continue with the first. At any rate,Usually when I write something to be published, it's because no one has written it for me. But a blog is different. I don't have to be concerned about structure or cohesion, or even coherence for that matter. And since I doubt anybody's going to read it anyway, I'm free to post & paste random thoughts and musings. Kind of cathartic in a way. I wrote the preceding paste originally as a sort of joke (I deleted the girl's name for privacy considerations) but most people don't like the notion of prenuptial agreements because they imply that something could go wrong. And that's not the way you want to start a relationship. Understandable. But as it turned out, the joke was on me.    Being a good lover is the product of how important it is to you to be one. Ask first. But some girls are not comfortable discussing the nuts & bolts of sex at any point, much less in the initial stages of a relationship. But if you're lucky enough to be with a girl who is comfortable talking about sex, then you're already halfway to both of you having really rewarding experiences with intimacy. Generally guys don't have meaningful, productive conversations about sex. The extent of it is bragging.  It's no secret that I'm a big fan of George Will. I think he is a bastion of integrity in an otherwise whore of a media (with a few notable exceptions, Charles Krauthammer being among them). But as much as I admire Mr. Will, any attempt on my part to emulate his writing would be akin to a pathetic Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band, or perhaps more accurately one of those “Clones Gone Wrong” segments on Leno: a pale pastel copy that only serves to remind that imitation may indeed be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also embarrassment of the purest ray serene. Ever pulled an all-nighter and had to go to work the next day? It's all fun & games until that glow on the eastern horizon pokes you in the eye.  When my daughter came to stay with me for part of the summer and I noticed that she had begun to blossom (she was an early bloomer), I asked her if she'd had her first menstrual period (menarche) yet. She said that no, she had spotted a little, but not yet had a full cycle. I told her that we needed to get her on birth control pills, and the reason was twofold. In the first place, it wasn't an indictment of her judgment, but I know that things sometimes happen in the heat of passion. And I'd rather be pissed-off than be pissed-off and her be pregnant. And secondly, the hormone regimen would make her cycle shorter and more regular, her flow wouldn't be as heavy, and her cramps would be less severe. To which she remarked “Wow Dad, to be a guy you sure know an awful lot about girls' bodies”. I replied “It's simple dear: I like girls, and that which I like I tend to make myself knowledgeable about”.Even at that “bathroom humor” age of young boys when my contemporaries were attempting to take the sting out of their awkwardness with comments like “Eeew! Girls are gross!” or “Girls have cooties!”, I didn't really belong. Oh, I publicly agreed, but secretly I was having thoughts like “I like the way girls smell; it's a little intoxicating. I like the way it makes me feel when they're close”. And if one should inadvertently brush their hair or skin against me, it pretty much electrified my entire little prepubescent body. Personally I don't care if the bed's made or not, as long as the sheets are clean. But I can make a bed so crisp & tight that you can bounce a quarter off of it and hit the ceiling. Why? Because girls like it. I put the toilet seat down when I leave a bathroom no matter where I'm at, no matter what position it was in when I got there. Why? Because I like girls, and if you extend these little courtesies, girls are more likely to want to hang around. I don't have any “pick-up lines”. I don't think I would be interested in the kind of girl who would respond to one. I'm not very good at the meeting & dating aspect of relationships. That's Athena's and Miriam's area of expertise (they're experts in the realm of dating – check out their articles on the Advice.Lovedetour.com website), and I'm sure I could benefit from their wisdom and good counsel.