VIEW FULL VERSION: Link
Title: Asking the right questions
Category: disapointed
Blog Entry: When two people get married their intentions are to stay that way, not get divorced. And yet our country's divorce rate is skyrocketing at 50% for civilians and nearly 75% for military, we are quickly reaching an epidemic. What's happening?Affairs are common reasons for divorces, falling out of love, not seeing the partner as a parent to their children. Why were these questions never asked in the first place? Does nobody know the right questions to ask?You can follow your heart and be logical at the same time. If the two are conflicting, then maybe that's your first warning sign. Thus asking yourself, why are the pieces just not falling into place? If you're afraid you're going to fall out of love with somebody, then you need to do some personal exploring. Where is this fear coming from? Are you willing to take the risk? What can you personally do to prevent this from happening? What can your partner do?If after your married you realize you don't see eye to eye on parenting, well those were questions you should have asked before. What are your stances on discipline? Why do you want to be a parent? What do you feel are good qualities you possess that would make you a good parent? Maybe it's just fear of having a child that drives doubt in the partner, but explore why you're feeling how you are.Affairs exist when these other questions are never asked and opportunity presents itself. Maybe because the emotional connection is lost, another is found. That could have been prevented if the spouse haed the opportunity to fix what was wrong. If they didn't want to, what will an affair fix? Your spouse won't change, somebody else can be that to you, so why bother staying married. Why bother having gotten married if this person was unwilling to change to better the marriage should something go astray? You didn't know because you didn't ask the right questions, so atleast be honorable. Either fix the marriage or get out.People are giving up. They are getting married with good intentions but not looking down the road. What will they do in certain situations? That needs to be made known, if they're going to run when things get hard...no business getting married.Take your time, ask questions, and know what you're willing to give and to give up. Marriage is an equal partnership and takes two to work. Compromise, sacrifice, not giving up, not running away: these are why marriages last. Asking the questions and getting the answers determines whether it'll be difficult or easy.