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Title: Looking for Love
Category: dont know
Blog Entry: Looking For LoveRomance movies, love em or hate em, we all want to be them. We love them because they inspire us, we hate them because life never meets the expectations romance on the big screen shows. We long for a kiss in the rain like "Forces of Nature", the proposal from "Sweet Home Alabama", the words that fall so easily from the mouth of Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook". The reality of it is, in real life the kiss in the rain is sloppy with far too much tongue, the proposal is without a ring in a place he thought was our first date but was actually his first date with his ex, and the romantic words come out something like "You know I care about you, why is that never good for you, why is nothing good enough?".Let's face it, we are all looking for love. We may not be wanting a relationship, or looking for labels, but we want whatever love means to us. Who wouldn't let their guard down at some point for the right one. We have our guard up to weed out the wrong ones....the right one would be willing to fight. It's when we are looking for love that we feel like we're playing one of those games for toddlers where you have to fit all the shaped toys into the right shaped holes. When we're looking, we try fitting the star into the triangle, the square through the circle. We try making things fit that never will because sometimes being alone is unbearable, and the thought of showing up at yet another family function makes us sick to our stomach. Who wants to hear their parents's continuous concern that they'll never have grandkids?There are so many great people out there that it's not difficult to find some sort of compatibility. Common food, music, hobbies and past experiences come easily. It's easy to forgive things in somebody that are incompatible when you want to be with somebody, anybody almost. It comes later that we realize it won't work long term because the qualities we were able to see past in the beginning are qualities we don't want in somebody long term. Or you continue to forgive and are either miserable and stay that way, or are miserable and finally see the light once it's too late.Although you can't help somebody who is in this position until they realize what they're doing, it's hard to sit by and watch. And while it might be effortless for us to tell these people what we see, we can't make them understand nor can we truly know what it feels like to have the desire to be with someone that badly. How do we help these people without trying to convince them or something they'll never believe? Make them see who they are. The concept that you can't rely on somebody else to make you happy until you're capable of making yourself happy is honesty.We as individuals need to learn who we are. As a teenager we don't believe our parents claims that as we get older we'll know what they're talking about, but the truth is we will. It is with time and experience that we grow into who we will become. At seventeen it's easy to believe the person we love more than anything will be the love of our life forever, and sometimes we're lucky enough for that to be true. But more often than not, we change over time and develop into different people. It's not in stupidity that we are advised not to marry young, it's because when we're young we haven't fully had the opportunity to become who we will be.It's so easy to follow your heart in youth and fully believe you know who you are and that you won't change, that's the essence of innocence. At twenty two years old I can fully understand and remember what it felt like to be so in love and think that nothing in the world could take that away. Through the storms of live I've come to the realization that while I will always have to feel that way to be with someone for the rest of my live, it takes much more than that. It takes compromise, self-sacrifice, and holding back when you want to let loose. It's about mutual understandings and similiar philosophies.So keep looking, you're going to anyways. Nobody can convince you not to believe what you believe even with the most reasonable advice. Do what you will, because it's that faith that makes you who you are. Don't be somebody you're not, because you will wonder why you keep attracting the wrong people. The right person will love you, respect you and want you for who you are. Why do you want somebody who doesn't want the real you? You will always feel like you're not good enough, because there are parts of you that aren't necessarily not good enough, but just not compatible. All you will spend your life doing is trying to be something you're not and failing because it's not who you truly are. Trust your instinct, be selective, take risks, and know when it's not right. When you look for love all you will find is what you're certain you don't want. Don't look for love, look for what you're left with when it feels like love isn't enough for it to last.