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cold.dark.alone my heart thumps on.

By: hehatesme
Mood: Dont know
Date: Sep 19, 2007
Music: None

I'm sitting here, my hands dangling limp and lifeless. With him, he's taken my life along with him. Here I am, in a dark, lonely, cold and damp corner. The sun blazes outside, the birds chrip, and here I am; alone, cold, limp and vulnerable. 

For 7 short years he was my everything and told me I was his. For 7 short years we frolicked and grown together; so vividly and so fruitfully. He was a prized intern in the financial district, and I a burlesque performer. He worked long hours in skyraises above the San Francisco waterline, often waking up at 5am to catch the NYC market. I was a night owl; stretching my fishnet clad legs across polished piano black stage floors and whipping my red feather boa across patrons. I would arrive home early in the mornings smelling of cigar and whiskey my inner thighs glimmering from sweat and adrenaline; my heart pounding from the alcohol and excitement; my veins pulsing with the morning sea breeze and mind full of lust. my cunt; musty, juicy, and wet.

He would lie there, annoyed that I bothered to caress his penis. Attempting to arouse him in hope of satisfaction. He would tell me he needed to be on his game on the trading floor, all I wanted to do was to wish him luck and give him pleasure. No...he wouldn't let me. The men on the burlesque floors would howl, scream, cheer and beg me; my temple at home would only shun me.

It finally came, the morning of August 15, 2007. He told me he was moving out, that I was a distraction and he was losing his edge. My late night alcohol induced performances was an embarrassment, and he could no longer carry on this relationship. 

So here I am. Cold. Dark. Alone and Afraid. In my corner I'm safe. I'm Sad, Disappointed and wish someone was here to hold me. Keep me warm, Keep me from shivering, Keep me protected. 


From: ming
Sep 26 2007, 8:04 pm
Cheer up girl! You are so hot! Any guy will want you! Forget that jerk! 

From: beatup
Sep 20 2007, 12:28 am

Hi girl! That sounds like a very sad story! I felt like crying after reading your blog! so sad! I really hope you will get better. Don't worry, you are a very pretty girl! you will have no problem finding your soul-mate! 

wish you the best! Wink

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